silver bells

The only downside to Christmas that I can see is that they become less spread apart the older we get; after all absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Far from being Mr Scrooge I am whole-heartedly looking forward to the next fortnight. It will take in four countries, forty friends and family members, four hundred too many calories per meal and four thousand miles.

If you do everything to excess it surely levels itself out someplace.




Happy Christmas!

Zorionak!

Joyeux Noel!

Feliz Navidad!

Zul saryn bolon shine ony mend devshuulye!

back to Blighty

This is the first Christmas I can recall since childhood when I have been truly excited (not in the French meaning of the word). Travelling the lesser voyaged paths is exhilirating and wonderful. It also serves to pinpoint what is important in your life.

Although I enjoy spending what my friends deem an unhealthy amount of time in my own company, this Christmas I am more than happy to be in the warm embrace of so many friends and family members.

Four days back in the UK has seen me do some odd things. After dancing gaily around supermarkets in awe of vegetables, Harrod's foodhall in particular, I have eaten non-stop at a plethora of splendid restaurants. The food is consequential but not nearly as important as the friends I have been eating with.

Tomorrow we return to St Jean de Luz for the first time in an age. I am reliably informed that our cat is still alive. While we have been sent photos of her none of them were date stamped or had newspaper front pages to verify the time. I remain sceptical.

Until then I intend to sit in an old East End ale house, quaff beer and eat stilton cheese with a teaspoon.

Cockney of the day:- abercrombie and fitch :: bitch

the garden of England

Being back in Europe is odd. After six months in Mongolia I found myself wandering giddily around Morrison's supermarket buying up far more fruit and vegetables than I could possibly eat and purchasing more prawns and squid than I could possibly want. As for fresh cream profiteroles... Scoffed the lot.

I am staying with my old next door neighbours in deepest darkest Kent. I had forgotten just how lovely a corner of the world Kent is. It is truly, quintessentially English and that is no bad thing, and I say that as a Scotsman. Kent also has what is undoubtedly my favourite beer in the world. Sitting in The George last night I enjoyed more than my fair share of Master Brew, seriously good ale.

Walking up on the Weald this morning the bracing views reminded me why I spent so many years living here. It may only be 50 miles from London but it remains unspoiled. Once can easily imagine stagecoaches passing by en route to Paris. The sound of spitfires flying overhead on their way to the Battle of Britain can be heard if you listen closely enough. On a clear day you can almost make out France some 60 miles south.

Kentish of the day:- blouse :: sweat profusely

end of term report

Today is my last day living full-time in Ulaanbaatar, the fabulous capital city of Mongolia; coldest capital city in the world; fastest developing capital city and a splendidly wonderful and completely barmy place. Following a heavy night of dancing and drinking I have to suffer the pains of first class travel once more as I brave a wee flight across Northern Korea for some time in Seoul before heading back to London, then Paris then sunny St Jean de Luz. It has been some six months; an adventure I feel honoured to have had the privilege to enjoy. Herewith 5 good things about Mongolia, 5 less good and 5 interesting.


The Good

1. Mongolian music is wonderful, unique and omnipresent. It plays as important a role on Mongolian society as it does in Basque culture.
2. Mongolian culture and history is unrivalled; its geographic position has largely sheltered its heritage from untoward outside advances and it remains as it has been for centuries.
3. The Steppe is both wonderful and fearsome; it is one of the largest and most hostile places I have been able to enjoy and riding across it guarantees peace of mind.
4. The Mongolian people have an amazing sense of self belief; there is little doubt their future is bright given this and the serene anger that lurks under the commercial skin thanks to Chinggis.
5. I have made some incredible friends in Mongolia; it is a happy place and I hope that as it changes so much over the next few years that it remains so (go now if you want to experience it as it has been)

The Bad

1. The harsh environment and weather are strking and waring to the outsider.
2. As the country undergoes dramatic change so quickly there is a sense of potential double standards and corruption; Louis Vuitton is established while orphans struggle to survive.
3. There is trepidation about outsiders, a little is healthy too much is dangerous; there is a scary right wing movement being established that needs to be quashed soon.
4. As the country expands economically it needs to make provision for pollution and recycling.
5. Mongolia needs to get over its perceived dislike of China; the economic upside for Mongolia is immense given its natural resources

...and the Interesting

1. Mongolia has, in my view, the prettiest ladies in the world (even my wife agrees).
2. The Mongolian word for beaver is minge; the Mongolian for lion is aslan.
3. Airag is possibly the most unusual and horrid tasting drink on the planet.
4. Mongolian horses are the hardest animals I have ever met; they could even beat badgers in a fight if it came to it.
5. Mongolia has some of the most amusing and wonderful signs

...as for what it was that made Chinggis Khaan so angry; I shall continue my search next year...

Mongolian of the day:- goodbye :: bayartai

stuff what I have eaten

During my time in Mongolia I have eaten a vast variety of food. Before coming here I had presumed that Mongolia would serve up the same food as you find in Mongolian restaurants throughout the world - how very wrong to presume anything. The staple fare in Mongolia is almost entirely based around mutton, dumplings and fat. Don't let this put you off though, the local dishes are truly delicious. Amongst my favourites so far are buuz (steamed dumplings filled with mutton, photo), bansh (boiled dumplings with mutton), khuushuur (deep fried mutton - this appeals to my Scottish taste buds - think juicy Cornish pastie). Other dishes include noodles and rice dishes; almost all containing mutton. The diet here is all about using what's readily available and preparing the body for harsh weather.

In and around Ulaanbaatar there are a ridiculous number of eateries (some fine, some less so). Eating out is almost the same price as cooking for yourself so it really is a no-brainer. Besides the usual selection of Thai, Korean, Indian and Chinese menus available there are some foods you would be hard pushed to find in Europe. Imagine yourself cooking up your own table stew of bulls penis and spring onions. Wonder at the taste of fried chicken heads (surprisingly sweet). Marvel at the aroma of sheeps head stew with vegetables. Gorge yourself on fattened duck hearts. Pig out on cockroaches on sticks.

I can safely say that they are all particularly yummy and know that there is one special friend in the Basque country who would happily have eaten everything I did with as much gusto!

Mongolian of the day:- to cook :: khool khiikh

leather and fur

Mongolians really know how to dress well. More importantly, Mongolians really know how to dress well in frighteningly cold weather. An average amble around Ulaanbaatar is akin to a promenade around Rome on a sunny January afternoon.

When the weather turns you will find almost everybody wearing fur. Fur coats, fur stoles, fur boots, fur scarves, fur hats. Mongolians also have fabulous boots. Boots of every conceivable shape, style and colour. Boots for macho men, boots for petite fashionistas, boots for grandmothers.

There is no room for futile political correctness when the temeperature is this low. In Ulaanbaatar fur is a necessity not a luxury. The government even offers mortgages to help people purchase furry protection against the cold. I saw a homeless person wearing a fur coat earlier this week. Anyone feeling queasy or remotely outraged by fur wearing should come and spend a week walking around Mongolia without a fur hat on - faux fur only offers false promise - get over it! People without protection from the cold die here on a regular basis.

Hot on the heels of purchasing my first fur hat (genuine fox, love it) I have just been measured up for my first pair of Mongolian boots. So normal is it to have bespoke boots made that the fitting took approximately two minutes. Choosing the style and colour took a little longer. This morning I opted for dark brown knee length tight fitters with limited fanciness. I figure they will look something between 'trendy Gestapo' and 'Jilly Cooper addict'. They will be ready on Friday and cost about the same as a pair of Converse. Fox on my head, cows on my feet.

Mongolian of the day:- leather :: savikh

would you buy anything from this man?

Ask yourself; does this jolly little fellow really encourage you to go and purchase some of the canned coffee drink he is promoting? Personally it makes me think that the drink has to contain drugs of some sort. There is something of Jack Black in the happy wee chap.

Different economies tend to adopt different business plans and different means of marketing their wares. Although there are many highly sophisticated consumers in Mongolia (in some cases far more sophisticated than any in Europe) marketing to the masses in Mongolia remains fairly vanilla. Ulaanbaatar may have Louis Vuitton, Armani, Prada and Gucci but it also has some interesting offerings. Some of my favourite outdoor marketing initiatives include:

Magic Pens, Mamma Mia (Mongolian style) and Morning Glory; what more could any discerning consumer wish for?


It is not surprising that marketing is sometimes a little confused. Mongolia is a country undergoing huge economic and cultural change. Chinggis Khaan has re-emerged over the last decade as a ferocious symbol of national identity. Given his reputation using the Mongol leader for branding purposes gives off several important messages. Secondly Ulaanbaatar is a capital city that is finding its identity. Currently there is debate in different countries, maps and websites about how to correctly spell the city's name: Ulaanbaatar or Ulan Bator. I prefer Ulaanbaatar, it feels more Mongolian.

Mongolian of the day:- market :: zakh

riding out across a winter wonderland

The sun shone brightly yesterday raising temperatures to a balmy -23C so I thought I would take the opportunity to spend the day horse riding across the Steppe. In weather like this you really must wrap up warm, people die regularly out here. Donning my newly acquired fox hat I looked quite resplendent (even if I do say so myself). Before coming to Mongolia I was not 100% in favour of fur. After six months here I appreciate that it really is the only way to keep the cold out. Anyone saying otherwise should spend some time here.

Riding away from my home we rose into the hills. Rising above the valley floor a breeze picked up. The wind chill factor was hellish. Within minutes my friend's faces were turning white marking the potential onset of frostbite. I made sure we all had our faces suitably protected before we rode on. The occasional flurry of snow hampered our progress but we made good time.

In a nearby valley we passed the Shaman site which looked delightful in the snow. The snow here does not get deep. There is simply very little precipitation. Far from being a good thing the dryness that pervades the air makes living and breathing that extra bit more challenging. Moving on from the spiritual site we met a couple of camels grazing on dry twigs in a tree that remained unsullied by ice. On we rode into the hills enjoying the vast views that only the Steppe can offer.

As the sun began to set we headed home in haste. The colours across the Steppe transport you to some magical kingdom and you expect to see orcs or fawns lolloping across the hillside. The last thing you want is to be caught outside once the sun is down. Thankfully we made it home in time and spent the rest of the day imbibing gin and tonic, purely for medicinal purposes.

Mongolian of the day:- hill :: dov

hats on to Mongolia

Hats are a big deal in Mongolia. Whether you are walking around Ulaanbaatar or exploring the Steppe you will find hats, hats and more hats.

They have three purposes:


1. They keep you warm in the crazy cold


2. They keep you cool in the heady heat


3. They make you look cool

Mongolian men in particular are avid hat wearers. They will rarely take them off even when indoors. During business meetings men will don something upon their bonce. Eating supper in restaurants men will retain a head piece.


In Mongolia there is one act that is utterly forbidden: never ever touch another man's hat. That way certain violence lies. It is a serious business.

Mongolian of the day:- hat :: malgai

what happens when it gets really cold

I've mentioned more than once that it is jolly cold in Mongolia. We are beginning to get used to it now. Reading about the media angst in Britain is hilarious; we long for any sign of humidity and as for -10C, that sounds deliciously balmy! It hasn't crept above -20C for longer than I can remember.

A few odd things happen when temperatures are this low.

Last week my nasal passages froze. I was completely incapable of picking any snot and blowing was right out. Walking is tough. When you first leave the house the soles of your shoes have a little warmth in them. This melts a bit of the ice which then refreezes on your shoes. You end up walking ice on ice, no end of fun. If you are outside for too long without protection your face swells up and you get white blotchy patches. This means frostbite and you should get indoors immediately. If you are out walking without enough layers of thermal clothing your legs catch chill blanes which is delightful sensation. My pet hate is body shape. Despite exercising on a daily basis everyone living around the -30C mark puts on between 5-10kg; it is so unfair.

I learned a great trick. If the temperature is less than thirty walk outside with a mug of boiling water and throw it into the air. The water immediately turns into snow. Hours of fun!

I have under two weeks before I return to the tropical weather in the UK.

Mongolian of the day:- freeze :: kholdokh